Taxman must get his house in order; It's the same old story from HM Revenue & Customs

“Christmas Eve: 6,033.  Tick. Christmas Day: 2,590, Tick! Boxing Day: 7,655.  Tick!!” The BattleAxe looked up triumphant.  “Just as I thought, the record numbers filing their tax returns over the holidays correspond exactly with when WE were in the office!” The Chief Elf nodded wistfully recalling a Christmas dinner of cold sausage and stuffing sarnies as returns flowed down the line. “Mind you,” the BattleAxe grumbled pointedly, “it was about the only three days in the last two years when HMRC’s systems have actually worked properly!”

Those systems have been the bane of the Chief Elf’s life (not to mention other inhabitants of BattleAxe Towers) for way, way too long.

Back in January 2016, I wrote about how HMRC needed to get itself properly fit and into shape.  But like so many a New Year resolutionists, they seem to have been back-sliding and it seems that things are getting worse rather than better.

So, yet again, here I am back to chastise!   

Remember, HMRC has a monopoly. We can’t go anywhere else to do our taxes despite their dire service.  What have they done wrong now? Well, the ICAEW called them ‘Self-Assessment Glitches’such as:

·       Errors in self-assessment calculations;

·       Errors in capital gains tax figures;

·       Incorrect adjustments for marriage allowance;

·       Pre-population within third party software unavailable, or incomplete or incorrect (one poor taxpayer was shown income on his tax return but none of the tax already deducted);

·       Incorrect NI calculations – some people may miss out on their pension as a result of this;

·       Self-Assessment statements missing or delayed; and

·       Payments on account not being shown at all.

Oh yes, and in the middle of January, HMRC took down the Self-Assessment data link for accountants and we had to re-authenticate ourselves to get back in.

As I’ve said many times before, if the private sector provided such a dreadful service, customers would vote with their feet and find a better supplier and HMRC would no longer exist – pause for blissful smile on the BattleAxe’s countenance! . 

These errors aren’t just a nuisance, they are erroneously costing taxpayers real money and, when we are living in uncertain times, every penny counts.  I know I’m not alone in my views but, most worryingly, I see nothing being done to make anything better.

As businesses we set ourselves service targets. Why should HMRC be  any different? It is a service provider and should be accountable against their KPIs. But, what are those KPIs? 

Until these basic issues are sorted we will all have excessive workloads checking HMRC figures are right as they scurry to catch up. 

After all it should be easy for HMRC. Just:

·      Get your sums right

·      Pay refunds quickly and efficiently

·      Be consistent

·      Improve the telephone service – actually, why not offer a call-back option?

·      Don’t just go for easy (but meaningless) targets 

Listen up Liz Truss and don’t make me come down there……  Remember: David Gauke has had to move job twice to get a safe distance away from MY rolling pin!

It's time we all made a right royal success of trade

“There is a certain irony, that with the UK population engrossed in the full flow of certain high-profile divorce proceedings, all of a sudden the papers are full of the official announcement of an event that will see the younger generation of the Royal Family recreating our historic trans-Atlantic union.  No doubt it will be seen as yet another British snub to the House of Europe that Harry failed to find a European princess to marry ” exclaimed the BattleAxe as she swiped through the glossy acres of pictures of the Fifth in Line to the Throne plus bride to be.  

“You know, businesses could learn a lot from the Royals” she mused. “Their presence was well and truly visible across Europe well before anyone thought of the EEC let alone the EU. After all Queen Victoria managed to either populate the major royal palaces of the world single handedly (with a nod to Prince Albert of course) or govern the rest directly.  Not of course that I’m saying we should be taking back control of the New World - just think how big the civil service would be!”  The Chief Elf shuddered a major sigh of relief and nodded enthusiastically.

“I see where you’re going” he said. “You mean we should be setting our business net ‘wider still and wider’. But don’t we already do a lot of business with the Rest of the World?”

“Of course we do, but there is much more that we can do – even as relatively small businesses.” The BattleAxe waxed Churchillian, “We Brits have always led the way in so many spheres.  Who was it that invented steam locomotives, light bulbs, computers? More recently we pioneered text messages – starting as BT’s way of testing ISDN lines – and the World Wide Web.  And it’s because of these that the world has become such a small place and the opportunities for UK businesses have become so much broader than in the days when we were masters of shipping bits of heavy engineering around Europe.

“So many SMEs think it’s too much hassle to expand beyond these shores but it doesn’t have to be.  Never let it be said that the BattleAxe doesn’t give credit where it’s due: there are even parts of HM Government that do really good work running programmes helping businesses of all sizes develop their exports. The Department of Trade and Industry has people located in most embassies around the world actively opening doors for British companies.  They do everything from complying with local product safety requirements, to minimising the credit risk of doing business with customers not covered by the UK courts. They can even intervene if they find countries putting up trade barriers such as imposing higher quality standards on foreign goods than locally made.”

“The world is our oyster as they say......... ooh, now there’s an idea for an export business. I wonder if one of our clients has a way of keeping them cold enough to get to Australia!”

This article was originally published December 14th 2017 in Huddersfield Examiner

Should we be a bit more like Isle of Man? Not everything is as black and white as it seems

“Who is scapegoat of the month then?” asked the BattleAxe as the summary of news headlines appeared on the Chief Elf’s screen. 

“Not that old chestnut again surely – those who chose to preserve their wealth by investing it in low tax regimes?”   Knowing the signs, the Chief Elf settled in for the denouement.

“Anyone would think doing that was illegal!” The BattleAxe warmed to her theme, “OK, so some people do cross the line from avoidance, and evasion really does need to be cracked down on.  But most is as legal as putting cash in ISAs or making pension contributions, both of which reduce your tax bill of course.

“Surely Apple or Google should be able to invest spare cash wherever it will grow fastest so they can research new gizmos, or return it to shareholders in the form of dividends or share buy-backs, or even donate it to charity?

“Talking of pensions, everyone’s pension schemes invest in those nasty big companies that are avoiding tax: because they generate good returns.  So, maybe the trustees will have to tell their members that their retirement income is dropping markedly because those immoral companies have had to pay more tax and so paid lower dividends – and their share prices have dropped too!

“When HMRC had a spat with the then Duke of Westminster a judge stated that: 

‘Every man is entitled if he can to order his affairs so that the tax attaching under the appropriate Acts is less than it otherwise would be. If he succeeds in ordering them so as to secure this result, then, however unappreciative the commissioners of Inland Revenue or his fellow tax-payers may be of his ingenuity, he cannot be compelled to pay an increased tax. This so-called doctrine of "the substance" seems to me to be nothing more than an attempt to make a man pay notwithstanding that he has so ordered his affairs that the amount of tax sought from him is not legally claimable.’

“So, maybe it’s the tax havens that are at fault and should be made to charge more tax. But what about the folks who live there and are reliant on those financial services salaries?  I mean, what has that paradise in the Irish sea, otherwise known as the Isle of Man got other than investments, a smallish airport, the TT and copious amounts of rain? 

“There is also a lot of evidence that lower tax rates increase collections because then, trying to avoid tax using fancy schemes costs more than you save. 

“A radical thought, with the UK escaping the EU’s rules, why don’t we urge the Government, under regional devolution, to let Yorkshire become even more of a tax haven than we already are?  You heard me right – we’re already seen by some overseas regimes as a tax haven because of our rules on R&D, low corporation tax and social security rates.  

“Now then, just check that we haven’t got any potentially illegal inward investment from Lancashire….”

This article originally appeared in Huddersfield Examiner on 16th November 2017

Not only Santa is busy in the run-up to festive season; Kirklees Business News You can't start planning too early for Christmas

“I see that the supermarkets are already advertising Christmas hampers,” said the client casually. That statement, echoing from Reception, put the Elves at BattleAxe Towers onto high alert.

It happens every year at this time. The first mention of Christmas kicks off a series of choreographed events that culminate a little before midnight on 31 January the following year when the last of the tax returns has been submitted (for those who send their information in last minute!).

“Right, lets take a look at who hasn’t provided information yet; which accounts are outstanding and who the tardy ones were last year;…..oh, and include you-know-who on the first chase up list as he’s always late!” the BattleAxe announced as she flew down the stairs to meet the unsuspecting client.

“And bring me the latest holiday calendar and requests,” she added as the Chief Elf scurried off “we’re not running a low-cost airline and we can’t just cancel tax returns on a whim!”

“I’d never thought about holiday scheduling around Christmas before,” the client ruminated. “Well this is your first year with fulltime employees, so it’s no surprise” the BattleAxe said. “But Christmas is the busiest time for you and you’ve always ended up taking on casuals before.”  “That’s true”, the client responded proudly, “but with the new team on-board I won’t need to do that again this year!”

“Are you sure about that? Have you thought about your growth and particularly the export work you’ve been doing?  You’re up over 200% year to date and if that continues won’t it mean that you need to start earlier to deliver overseas on time but still have the same push to meet the later UK orders? Especially with Christmas falling on a Monday this year.”

“It's a MONDAY?” the client looked suddenly concerned, “but then we won’t be able to do our normal Christmas Eve deliveries as that would be Sunday…..how will we get everything out? And I’ll need to get in the raw materials a good three weeks earlier with all the deliveries we’re expecting to go out to Brussels…..   Err, I had better get back and start working out how it’s all going to fit together!” he started to leave, looking shaken.

“Hold on a moment,” said the BattleAxe, firmly, “rather than running off in a panic, let’s take 5 minutes to get your priorities in order. Otherwise you will overlook things like vacations or ignore new regulations or forget that those special orders will be going to Strasbourg not Brussels!” 

“But where do I start?......”

“You need to capture all the possible variables so that you can get a clear picture.  Talking it through always helps.  Once we’re there, we can look at how you physically make the deliveries. So, come on!”  the client looked reassured as they headed towards the well-used whiteboard.

“By the way, there’s a long established outfit that only do Christmas Eve deliveries – run by some white-bearded chap…but I hear you have to book him early!”

Originally appeared in Huddersfield Examiner on 12th October 2017

When the greatest ideas come from making mistakes; HOW DO YOU SPOT AN OPPORTUNITY WHERE OTHERS ONLY SEE DISASTER?

“If it’s not on Strava – it didn’t happen!” It’s a daily mantra amongst the swimming, running and riding (particularly those who do all three in one event) fraternity that the BattleAxe “relaxes” with.  

Few of them realise that Strava came about following an accident.  Mark Gainey, the founder, suffered serious injuries when his bike hit a pothole, shattering his left arm.  Like lots of good products Strava went from the germ of an idea, one Gainey’d had at college, to launch in 2009 and now has £54m of investment - even if it still hasn’t made a profit.  

If he hadn’t had time recovering from 11 operations, would we ever know the heights the BattleAxe has cycled to this week?

Prompted by the thought, the BattleAxe trawls the archives, looking for household names that only became so as a result of something going Pete Tong. 

Probably the best known is something that the BattleAxe avoids because of a serious allergy – Penicillin.  A discarded, contaminated Petri dish grew mould that, Fleming noticed, was killing the bacteria around it.

More promisingly, Percy Spencer ended up with a pocket of sticky “candy” when working on radar research.  Putting kernels near the machine and getting popcorn, he discovered the microwave. He didn’t do quite so well with his second attempt – an egg that exploded!

Scotchgard was developed to stop engines from deteriorating.  A spillage on a shoe which, unexpectedly, stayed clean whilst the rest of the footwear succumbed to the grime of day to day life saw the development of this indispensable protector.

A haphazard Canon engineer resting his soldering iron on his pen saw ink shoot out – and the inkjet printer was born!

Looking up from Wikipedia the Chief Elf added to the list, “X-rays, Post-It Notes, Silly Putty, the contraceptive pill, Viagra, potato chips, the slinky,….” 

“STOP!” exclaimed the BattleAxe, “we could be here all day!” 

“Is there anything that didn’t happen by accident?” mused the Chief Elf.  

“Of course there has been!” The BattleAxe mused: “Makes you wonder though, how many amazing ideas or products get missed because a business owner writes something off as a bad job?  Some people succeed by coming up with an idea and sticking with it, but the real commercial brains are the ones that can spot opportunity where others only see disaster.  

That ability to take a step back, brush yourself down, look past the debris on your work bench and see the next product to take the world by storm is a mark of product genius.   Even when a product doesn’t take off, it’s original concept is a disaster, it’s no longer useful or people start to use it differently - who’d have thought we’d use a mobile phone to take photographs!, take a moment to think, can it be adapted, re-purposed or even taken apart and used for a new invention?”

“You still need the spark of an idea of course, and you could do worse than listen to that often heard customer feedback:  “If only you’d got something that would ……..””.

This article originally appeared in Huddersfield Examiner on 14th September 2017

You're playing with the big boys, enjoy it - Are you ready for that 'Premier League' contract?

You’ve built a good, sound and solid business. Then you get that call: the one offering that multiple turnover contract .   You’ve dreamed of this for years - but are you ready for the Premier League? What do you need to merely cope with that scale of contract? Think of everything you’ll need to do!  

In the wee small hours, the RollingPinPhone rang. It was just such an agitated business owner whimpering – “Where do I start?”

The BattleAxe, in her normal assertive way, told him stop worrying and put a plan together! 

“Your customer facing staff have done you proud for years, but do they have the polish that the new customer expects? Everyone will need some extra training to make sure that your speed of reaction is up to the job. You’ll probably also need new team members with experience in dealing with larger customers.  Remember, it’s not just the number of staff on the shop floor it’s about their skill sets, match fitness and terrier-like persistence!  And don’t forget, that type of staff don’t come cheap so think about upping your selling price – you can’t just rely on volumes going up.” She said.

“And as for those uniforms – time for a revamp and maybe you need to think about the font and logo you use? Something modern and crisp but reflecting your heritage – too much change can put off your existing customers and you’ll still need them to keep buying from you.

Make sure you’ve got the right facilities to handle the increased volume of business.  It’s not just about having the factory running 24 hours a day – you’ll need more storage space; the canteen open day and night and the cleaners in twice a day and the ability to clean whilst the lines are still working.  Then make sure that your IT and accounting functions can cope with the extra volume of traffic.”  She could hear a pencil scribbling frantically.

“The new contract will raise your profile so capitalise on this – but don’t forget it needs to be planned with Germanic precision!  There’s nothing worse than not performing when you’re in the public eye.  If you fail to deliver the goods, you can be sure that it will soon get around that you’re easy competition and you’ll have to fight back up the suppliers’ league table again.

And last but not least, make sure you have a plan if the dream contract ends!  Build in clauses so that the customer covers the costs of scaling back or factor it into your pricing strategy – not forgetting that price rises may not go down too well with loyal customers.  Maybe you could give them a discount for multi-buys or signing up for a year’s supply contract?”

By this time, the BattleAxe could hear the client’s knees knocking and wanted to reassure him. “Most importantly, you’re playing with the big boys now, don’t forget to enjoy that success – business can be the most beautiful game if played right you know!”

Don’t Take Your Loyal Customers For Granted!

It started sometime around the third week of April.  With increasing frequency since then, the BattleAxe has been seen wandering the corridors of BattleAxe HQ shaking her head and tutting - even more than normal. Her deep sighs have been those of a baffled and desolate woman.  

Eventually this week, at an Elf team meeting her high-horse mounted, she made her views clear through the following mantra:

“Lesson Number 1 in business is to understand the needs of your target market(s). 

Lesson Number 2, is to make sure core products aren’t in stock one day, not available the next, then back again on the shelves a week later. 

Lesson Number 3: communicate with your loyal clientele in a way that leaves them feeling loved and wanted – make them feel special.”

The Elves seemed confused as to why the BattleAxe felt the need to remind them of this.  “Isn’t that obvious to everyone?” ventured the Chief Elf, “after all, the majority of business is really all about your customers, not about bigging up you as an entity.”

“One would think so,” the BattleAxe responded (for once overlooking the Jamaicanism), “but the last few weeks have shown that there are some that just don’t appear to have worked it out.  Their marketing gurus seem to have overlooked the basics and focused on brand rather than substance.  Not only that, but core product items were changed without even talking to the heads of the departments affected – the people who actually have the data and know the customers best. 

“The sad thing is that, as a result, they’ve had to shed jobs and lost some really good local staff.  Furthermore their bargaining power with suppliers and international distributors has been seriously weakened.” 

“If only they’d taken heed of the basic rules, their customers would keep coming back year in year out.  And they’d have been able to do it without feeble attempts at attracting a whole new fickle customer base by “updating” much-loved stock lines, thereby leaving loyal customers without the very products they’ve bought for years! 

“It doesn’t mean that a business doesn’t need to evolve over time – life changes.  Neither does it mean that they can’t try new things alongside established standards.  

It’s not like we’ve not seen the impact of all this before. M&S getting close to the brink misjudging their market. HMV appointing liquidators after over 90 years. Woollies losing its wonder to the likes of Wilko, not to mention the big supermarkets having underestimated the German discounters and now, apparently, ignoring Amazon and eBay’s potential impact in challenging the very need for shops as we’ve known them.

“What it does mean is that none of us in business can afford to be complacent and we definitely can’t act like we know best, simply assuming that longstanding customers will follow no matter what’s on offer.  

As recent events show, behaving that way means that we’ll wake up to find closed outlets as they rapidly lose their hold on the market.”